“My wardrobe situation is stressing me tf out.”
On 10 participant-strong WhatsApp group chats: “I do not need this stress in my life.”
There isn’t a single point in my life that I thought I’d sit here and almost happily write this post. Not one. I didn’t think I’d go through the things I did or that I’d want to share it, but I thought it might be a little helpful. The blogosphere is getting a little more candid nowadays, anyway.
I wouldn’t say I’m a particularly uptight or nervous person. I’ve struggled with one-off panic attacks and bouts of travel-related anxiety but in general I’m a happy-go-lucky, carefree kinda gal. Often described as a hippie by my Mum and best friends.
About 2-3 months after finishing University, I began to suffer with debilitating stomach pains and patches of psoriasis on my neck. At first I wrote it off as I’d eaten something funny – I mean, I was out all the time now that I was workin’ in the Big Smoke – and picked up some Sudocrem for my neck. But it wasn’t going away. My hair at the nape of the neck started to fall out, I was inexplicably losing weight… Eventually, my concerned Mama took me to a private doctor to run tests and work out what was going on with me.
Throughout the remainder of 2012 until early 2014, I ended up being on between 11-19 tablets a day, plus magnesium drops and oil supplements, as well as being on a contained diet that changed with my medication. It was tough. There was nothing technically medically wrong with me – I didn’t have an illness – but acute stress that my doctor attributed to University and lifestyle changes meant that my immune system had completely shattered. My body was no longer producing the correct amounts of magnesium or *insert medical term I can’t spell* for me to stay healthy. It was a dangerous circle that was spiralling downwards. Say what?
I didn’t feel stressed and I was living a pretty fun life at home, there were just a few minor niggles with my little magazine baby, but everything else said otherwise. This was literally down to stress. On top of that, my symptoms had to get worse before they got better, and I hated ever wearing my hair up, going to have my hair cut or wearing dark colours. I had no idea that this could even happen. So I thought I’d share my story.
Alongside that, I do still take 11 (on average) tablets a day to maintain my blood levels and I avoid a selection of foods everyday because my body is intolerant to a lot. I sometimes wish it was as simple as being gluten-free but it’s just a mix of everything. And now I make it a priority to chill tf out a little more, even if I already feel chilled. I like having my hair back, short as it is at the back!