Just a moment ago, I found myself doing that again. “I must try this place before time runs out,” before remembering that right now, right before, and for always, I have as much time as I give myself. I suppose I rush myself to do everything all at once and immediately, it’s that millennial mindset of having it all, or something like that.
Somewhere around October, I realised that I have no security in anything much except from in my friends and family. Temporary feelings, of sadness, relief, excitement, adoration, longing and others, that can change in the blink of an eye at the turn of another’s hand. Temporary moments, knowing that you’ll never experience the very present in the exact manner again. Temporary phenomena are the ideal, right? Never getting bored of your surroundings because they change all the time, right? As much as I adore travelling and seeing beautiful new horizons and knowing that things can and will change and get better, I realised that the idea of things being temporary is scary and confusing and full of hope and promise and futures and relief.