Good at giving advice, terrible at taking it. Let’s talk about the concept of “it’s simple”, because it always really is when you think about it. Just don’t overthink it like I usually do. Mish’s bro tips.
Regardless of what you’re fretting over – be it work related, your best friend has been distant, he hasn’t messaged you back in 5 hours, you’re worried about family or The Future – beneath the complexities of the situation, it’s always simple if you allow it to be.
The place that you’re supposed to be moves all the time. Nobody stays the same forever: people change, places change, minds change. It’s more a question of changing together and drifting towards a similar destination. Nobody knows who they’re supposed to be. Check out those teenage years, you think you’re an emo one day then you’re an indie gal the next. All it takes is a cheeky tweak of your MSN profile, a swap of clothes – thanks Tammy Girl – and you’re done. You’re always who you’re supposed to be, forever changing whether you realise or not.
When I dated this guy earlier in the year, everything was volatile. We were either sickeningly sweet and planning holidays and cute day trips for the summer or we were arguing constantly for entire days and weekends because “I’d done something wrong”. It’d flip like a switch, but in the back of my mind, I was already forgiving him – blindly – because of that odd image in my head that a romance should be all-encompassing, it should be reckless, a struggle and chaotically problematic, as long as you can get through it.
I realised that, for me, that’s kinda unhealthy. Let’s face it. I’m a fairly quiet, laid-back dreamer who likes a chilled out life with a cup of coffee and is pretty content documenting the everyday mundane. I’m not cut out for arguments for the sake of an oddly dramatic romance, eh? This isn’t Made in Chelsea (although some may argue my life is at times – more later).
It’s simple when you realise that work isn’t the be all and end all, you work to live not live to work; your best friend is your best friend because you can grab him or her by the shoulders and ask them what the deal is; if he hasn’t messaged you back, he might have a life, he could be asleep, or he’s just not that into you, be a sassy independent woman; the Future is equally simple, it’ll come and it’ll bring with it plenty of never-believed-it-could-happen moments. It’s all so simple when you relax a notch and enjoy.