I remember when I was 14? 15? and I discovered MySpace for the first time. I joined because my uber cool cousin had it and Taylor Swift had an account. Sold. Before that, I had a Freewebs site, a LiveJournal account, Xanga page and a Bebo floating around – yeah, I was all about online. Here was a fresh place for me to quietly portray – in my own time and at my own pace – who I was and what I thought I was all about. There was nothing better than finding the PERFECT heart layout with matching titles and dividers, eh? And there it was, the beginnings of filtering myself to a better standard. As a heavily guarded, shy and meek introvert, I really struggled at school. I would find better comfort in the written word, once I’d had time to fully compose my thoughts and ideas, and I still do now. Does that mean I’m fake? Not at all.
At some point, I realised the spiralling unhealthiness of this. Meticulously considering every aspect of myself for the online world. No-one cares but me, let’s be honest! I’d like to think I left the majority of that behind when I unofficially switched my blog to a lifestyle genre (but c’mon, I write about literally everything on here). Even today, we all know in our heart of hearts that no-one’s life is as glossy and over-exposed as their Instagram feed.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I’m not even going to read it back. I guess I’m writing this as a reminder than online is the highlights reel of my life and offline? I’m just a fairly klutzy, sometimes ditsy, quite ambitious, selectively hardworking and always dreaming girl. I’m about 5” shorter than you think I am (confirmed by many fellow bloggers that have met me). I’m also seriously messy and my apartment features more Pokemon plushies and houseplants that are perpetually in the balance of life and death. than rose gold and marble.
Honestly, how do your online and offline personas match up?