You know, I never saw myself writing this kinda thing, Carrie Bradshaw style, but my real life friends find my dating escapades hilarious, so I figured I’d sprinkle in a dose of dating content once in a while. That okay?
A few weeks ago, right after things with The Man of Mystery fizzled, spluttered and ground to a halt, I was engaged in an intense thoughts-faster-than-fingers transatlantic WhatsApp chat with my two best friends back home. ‘You deserve so much more’, ‘He has no idea what he’s missing out on’ and ‘I would date you if I wasn’t getting married next year’ all got thrown about, standard post-(non)break up style. But then we got chatting about how in this generation, people are actively dating and actively wanting to stay single. Our generation. We are. Forget about Generation Y or whatever end of the alphabet is the new thing. It’s Generation Single.
There exists an obvious divide amongst us twenties crowd: those who are happily settled – my two best mates included! – and those who are floating, unsure of the future. If I’m going to be honest, I’ve always seen myself as a relationship girl. The sheer prospect of dating is terrifying to me. And I mean past that whole ‘how many minutes do I wait between texts’ thing. I mean the concept of meeting other real life humans, striking up conversation, hoping it works and then continuing to see this person with the end-goal of, you know, staying with them. Them being your ‘other half’, someone that completes you. I’m an inherent optimist, hopeless romantic and I’m so into old-fashioned romance. Of course I believe that there is someone out there who slots perfectly into place with you, how could I not? I’m no special snowflake because there is one other person on this globe that just gets me. I just haven’t found him yet.
We’re in a society that champions the ‘work hard, play hard’ mantra. Hell even I champion that. We’re so busy that we spend our entire commutes checking emails (or Instagram feeds – which one are you?), we switch off only when our smartphones go into nightly Do Not Disturb modes, we awaken when our sleep apps determine we’ve had enough sleep, we begin the daily grind again. With careers, social lives and online perceptions in a state of undeniable frenzy, image wise, it’s no wonder that relationships, even friendships, are waysided. Do we simply not have enough time to forge a genuine relationship? Am I crazy and naive for not wanting to be one of a handful of girls? Excuse the pun 😉 Because that’s not who I am, and I don’t think it’s who you are either. Bar one genuine and non-crazy relationship in the last 2 years, the few guys that I’ve dated have all been Generation Single-led. The ones that’ll tell you that they’ve never met anyone like you, that they can’t wait to take you to this place, or some other nonsensical non-truth, all the while making a point of the casualness of the ‘deal’. Don’t you dare bring up a talk. The society that has amped us all up to achieve as much as we can has created a generation of influential achievers, ambitious achievers, charming achievers.
But I can’t help thinking that it’s led to a generation of believing we can have it all, have them all, instead of settling for just the one person that shares it all.