Somewhere along the line, all of us got caught up in the oft-mistaken idea that we should always be striving to particular goals. That we should be this way or that. That we should look like X and not like Y. That we could even be goals in some incredulous new, ‘young’ thing that was going round. Not I, I’m not blonde or skinny and tall and I certainly have no idea who most people in popular culture are. I’m Chinese, petite and black-haired, favouring K-pop and matcha tea. And whilst I have no qualms with setting healthy goals for the year and, indeed, crafting monthly to-do lists to try and keep myself somewhat ‘on track’, I’m beginning to question the validity of goals at all.
January was a great month for me. And when I look back on it, it wasn’t necessarily because I was hitting all of my targets or because I was bossing it the entire way. It was simply because I was giving myself a clean slate upon which to create. (That sounds cheesy and cliche, but it’s true, so whatever.) The #Girlboss mantra is certainly one that washes through my days but it’s just as important to hang back a little and just appreciate every day. ’Chase your dreams,’ ‘pursue those goals,’ they all say. ‘Do what makes you happy.’ Oh ho, sweet reader child of mine, if only it were all that easy.
Instead, this month I’ve been taking each day as it comes. Tackling the smaller things that I think might, just might, lead up to the big picture. I dream daily of a fairytale future with Milo, two little cats, an organised kitchen and pantry, a successful business in Honey + Chai, our balcony views and cosy anime den. I’m not sure how I’ll get there but so long as I’m making small steps and motions to get there, I remind myself that it’s okay.
Take it from me, just for a month, live by no goals and see what comes.
(‘Penny’ blouson sleeve jumper, Honey + Chai;
‘Rory’ embroidered denim skirt, Honey + Chai;
F&F Signature tights – totally recommend these in the cold!;
‘Alexa’ smoke heel sock boots, c/o 4th & Reckless;
‘Don’t Be A Dick’ enamel pin, Veronica Dearly.)