Throughout my early twenties, and I suppose my misguided late teens, I was of the quiet assumption that things fell into place at a certain time. That it’d be like in the movies and you’d meet a mysterious stranger at a bar. That you’d go on 4.5 dates and they’d ask you to be theirs in some quasi-romantic manner.
And over time, I learned that what is right for the Blair Waldorfs (ok, perhaps not Blair, but you see where I’m going with this, right?) of the world, isn’t what’s right for me. I’d find myself questioning where my dream job and beautiful home and jigsaw puzzle-like other half were whilst I was whittling away at a social life – so new to me along with my new fancy London fashion office job – a personal life, a career and blogging life. Wasn’t I supposed to be a high-flying girl nailing the fashion industry, growing confident, making hundreds of new friends, throwing caution to the wind and proving to my bullies that I could do this? Something had to give, surely?
In fact, over time you learn. You learn that the naivety of your younger years is what the foundations of your dreams lay on and the experiences that befall you along the way are what builds your character, chipped brick by chipped brick, and eventually, without you even realising it, suddenly your life feels like home.
Days feel like a cosy place where you recognise morning routines and afternoon routines and evening ones, and they’re full of laughter and silly giggles and ridiculous inside jokes. Inside jokes that you’re not sure even YOU understand. Morning routines that are making coffee barefoot and dancing by the fridge and chasing each other to confirm who is making breakfast. Your career is suddenly all about slippers at home in your very own office instead of stilettos in a too-bright office of somebody else’s, the role you only really wanted to prove to somebody else ‘that you could’. You can count your best friends on a hand or two and you spend most weekends at home watching anime and yet, things are sweet. And best of all, your crush from the very first time you stepped foot in sixth form college is the one that holds your hand every day and reminds you of your greatness and who kisses you on the nose right before bed.
‘It is the time you have spent waiting for your rose that makes it so sweet.’