My Offline Month
Hey, my loves.
Throughout March and much of April, I took a bit of a social media break. I’d been contemplating one for a little while, for a multitude of reasons, and when I vocalised some of them to my boyfriend, I realised that ‘now’ was better than ‘soon’. Somewhat unceremoniously, I rush-created an Instagram Reel, rough-wrote a caption and then logged out. The effect it had on me was almost instant.
Why I wanted a break
Social media has become part and parcel of our everyday lives in 2024. At the tap of a screen, we are connected instantly with hundreds, thousands, of like-minded – or not so like-minded – people. You can stay up to date with the news in small, digestible bites, you can browse and shop products, you can even watch your favourite celebrities go live. After 14 years of online living and sharing, I felt exhausted by it all. The constant notifications, the overbearing feeling that you had to share something to be remembered by the algorithm, the comparison feelings that inevitably creep in, the addictive nature of being ‘rewarded’ with likes and notifications of more new content… I believe I’ve mentioned it many times, but I often struggle with the balance of being online vs. offline.
I noticed my mood decline after using Instagram yet I’d constantly be back for more, spending nearly five hours per day in the app, according to my Google Pixel’s Digital Wellbeing tracker. Although I no longer ‘create content’ as a priority, choosing instead to work selectively with brands, I still felt a big part of myself tying self-worth to likes and following count. Even so, I’d spend plenty of time planning an aesthetically pleasing grid, always on the hunt for the next ‘perfect’ photograph. I wanted a break from the noise.
What’s more, I wanted to see what it’d be like to not be around so much on the Internet. Who would I be without all of that? Since I started Daisybutter in 2009, I’ve always shared all sorts of snippets about myself. Am I truly an oversharer, or was it actually out of habit?
The detox:
- No Instagram main account
- Deleted Threads and X
- Kept bookstagram, Substack and my blog
- … and a rough plan to be off social media until Easter weekend.
The first few days without social media
Almost immediately, I realised that muscle memory is strong. I’d moved Instagram to a new spot on my phone set-up (since I had a few ARC book reviews to publish on bookstagram, I didn’t delete it fully), yet would forever tap where the app used to be. It’d bring up Couch to 5k – my newest project – instead, which, to be honest, wasn’t a bad thing. I also found that it felt strange not to share a running commentary on my life. I’d make my morning matcha to enjoy on the back garden stoop, and my brain would subconsciously narrate an Instagram Stories caption! After dinner with friends, it felt odd not to share our evening through photos and a mini, unsolicited review on the restaurant. This observation made me realise just how weird it is TO be commentating on my own life, for others, like a very specific reporter.
The hours also felt like hours again. I definitely noticed that I could fit everything in to my evenings without the temptation of an endless scroll. After work, I caught up with my WhatsApp messages, headed for a run with my sister, cleaned up, cooked dinner from scratch and relaxed for an evening on the sofa with my family, or I’d crack on with some craft projects I’d been meaning to start for months.
Two and three weeks’ in
Without the noise of what everybody else is doing, I found that I was no longer second-guessing my work. Although I lost a little motivation for blog post-writing, I did happily fill some of my newly acquired spare time with personal writing and planning some future content. I discovered that blogging – my true love online – was enjoyable again, and I believed in my words again. I had the luxury of spare time to redesign my blog and tinker away at a project that’s been in the works for many months.
I quickly found that meeting up with friends felt even more rewarding and fulfilling. Since I hadn’t seen any of their Instagram Stories or photos, and vice versa, we could properly chat about everything we’d each been up to. Conversations about trips, work achievements, funny little life anecdotes and even the everyday mundane are really important (and interesting too!). Having written that out, is this how non-creator people live?! I like it!
The strangest reaction to telling friends I’d chosen to come off social media was from the people that took it to mean: I’ll send you 800 screenshots of Instagram, Threads and X instead! I loved not seeing the opinions of thousands of strangers. Did I miss the thick of the Royal Family conspiracies? Sort of. But it felt far better to personally seek out news and reports from publications that I trust and align with. And it also meant that I could consume the news at a pace that suits me. Who would’ve known? Once upon a time, we only saw news once a day(!)
Most surprising of all, I learned that not being seen online is completely fine. I am a whole person and more than enough whether I am liked online for it or not. Having run a blog since 2009, I’d gotten used to sharing my life online and not knowing anything different. I had a fear of being left behind (surprise, I’d already ‘fallen behind’ my OG blogging peers), and of not feeling ‘seen’. The best thing I discovered is that I don’t need the validation of the online community to feel seen: my IRL circle is my support network and my offline relationships feel stronger than ever.
My offline month in review
Five weeks away from social media ultimately did me the world of good. It isn’t great for my brain to be connected to so many people at the same time. My relationships all thrived whilst I wasn’t present online, and my work-life balance felt better than ever.
It was also interesting to discover that my friends and I now made more of an effort to connect via WhatsApp and in-person. It’s all too easy to rely on Instagram as a point of connection when, really, it isn’t always a proper connection. I loved getting to share and hear stories from friends IRL and get all the juicy details. Plus, sometimes, pre-detox, it’d feel like, because blogging had become part of my identity for so long, that my friends would default to social media to talk to me. I’d actually already assumed this for a while, but it was fascinating to see this confirmed.
Will I continue to stay away from social media? The short answer is: probably not. I did miss Instagram, especially because it’s a great creative outlet. I enjoy supporting fellow creators and missed seeing everybody’s beautiful branded content, as well as their everyday. Going forwards, I’m going to be stringent about using my ‘Favourites’ feed on Instagram so that I can see ‘best of’ content at a glance. I’ve added a 10-minute break on my Instagram and daily 2-hour limit and, if I’m honest, I’m not hugely connected to my main account at the moment.
The experience has forced me to confront my ‘why?’, and I think I’m slowly getting there. I share more for the human connections and nostalgia than to become an Internet powerhouse. I’m unsure of what my balance will look like, but I’m looking forward to being used to being offline. Perhaps I’ll defer to weekly dumps. Perhaps I’ll start fresh with a whole new account. We’ll see.