Ah Sundaze… my favourite day of the week by far, and I really mean it this week.

Like many of you (I’m sure, and I hope), this week I’ve been campaigning endlessly for justice for George Floyd (and we’re partway there!) and for the amplification of Black voices to be truly heard. I’ve been taking time to process the things I’ve heard, and time to self-educate. It’s been really eye-opening and uncomfortable. But I do feel that I’m learning more about Black history and about how we can begin the dismantle the system. Sympathy and empathy is not enough. There are myriad things that I can and will do.

Outside of these important conversations, I didn’t have much capacity for much else. I welcomed a new villager to my island on Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Zell!!), I finished reading Tai-pan by James Clavell and didn’t really enjoy it, I cooked fresh meals most nights, I finally started Keeping Up with The Kardashians 13 years late… It’s been a ride.

Confronting racism head-on

While I’ll never understand, I stand. Growing up British-born Chinese armoured me with experiences that make me passionate to be anti-racist every day and share my stories in a bid to create change. Even so, this week I’ve felt deeply uncomfortable in my own unknown complicity. Talking AT people about anti-blackness instead of to them, especially in the Chinese community due to language barriers. Learning about the role East Asians play in white supremacy. I’ve felt uncomfortable, and then taken action. A little every day. I need to do better, still.

Earlier this week, I took some time off social media because I was struggling with a situation that I didn’t really mean to be included in and I didn’t want to derail the important conversations the world is finally having. It wasn’t personal, but it felt like it, especially when it came from within our own community. But I don’t want to stay silent: someone in our own blogging ‘community’ used the C word, whilst claiming to be anti-racist, and shamelessly failed to address it publicly. On a personal level, I feel a bit blindsided and that they don’t make space for selective ethnic groups. On a wider scale, I’m frustrated that we’re still a silent minority. Show up, stand up, take action; I’m grateful to be amongst so many allies who’ve checked in this week.

Pockets of self-care

A Hotel Chocolat care package arrived for me this week, which lifted my spirits immeasurably! My new manager at work treated us to chocolate hampers, and it totally cemented that I’m super lucky to work for a company that’ve been brilliant throughout the pandemic. And with no current work at my own business, I’ve had plenty of time to enjoy making my way through it… I’m also thoroughly enjoying phone-free evenings, replacing them instead with reading or Animal Crossing sessions, accompanied by Netflix documentaries. 13th is one you should absolutely watch, especially this week.

I’ve really been letting self-care and general upkeep of self slip during lockdown, which I think is an indication of my slipping mental health. Introversion and staying at home is great until it isn’t, isn’t it? Not only had I stopped going outdoors, I’d also stopped wearing Normal Trousers or Bottoms (amirite?!), wearing makeup or really attempting to maintain any semblance of normality. Honestly? I’m still finding it hard to do any of the above (hence the severe lack of photos for any of my platforms), but perhaps sharing it here might will me to change that.

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Look after yourselves this week, Daisybutter clan.

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