There’s a note in my bullet journal every Saturday reminding me to write my Sundaze post. And this morning, I felt anxious about doing so. How could I best document this week without it sounding like an absolute scramble? A tumultuous rollercoaster? But I suppose that’s what the last 52 instalments have been; a scramble, emotional, tumultuous. We’ve now had 52 official weekends of pandemic living and, oddly, I’m finally understanding my own rhythm and relationship with it. It’s a bit of a give-and-take relationship – more than I’ve had in previous ones! – and there’s many highs and lows. Honestly? It’s a bit of a grim milestone, isn’t it?
And this week, the highs have been high and the lows scraping rockbottom. I felt elated for getting back into a workout routine that works for me. (I basically do 45 minutes of Nike+ Training workouts and then 30 minutes on my RingFit, alongside little daily walks.) They help me destress, iron out my emotions, and sleep better. I also had a big presentation to… present… at my day job, which I smashed. So I felt very proud of myself! But then just a day later, news of the Atlanta shooting broke. It broke me. I penned some very quick thoughts on Wednesday morning, but it kinda sucks to have to keep pleading for Asians to be seen and treated as humans. It’s been a tough couple of days, and I’m grieving. There’s a special sort of kinship amongst the ESEA community; we see and value one another as brothers and sisters, aunties and uncles. As such, I’ve taken my foot off the pedal a little and I’ve mostly spent my week offline, with family.
One of the most beautiful things in (my) life is that I’ve truly only ever known a life where racism exists alongside my everyday life. So, I have actually felt content this week, before and in-between the grief and heartache. Content that life in my thirties feels serene and inevitable, like water running down a brook. Content with the opportunities and things at my fingertips. Content with the beyond incredible support network I have around me. For instance, when I felt incredibly low on Wednesday, it didn’t take more than two seconds for my best friend to call me, and call again a few hours later, and then scoop me up for a long after-work walk. Amidst the sadness, I’m so grateful for this life that I’ve cultivated.
Yesterday marked the first day of spring 2021! … okay okay, the skies were grey all day. But still, I managed to head for a walk and it felt so good to embrace the fresh air and consider all that’s to come this year (hopefully). Fewer restrictions, the thought of getting to see my girls, a vaccine, sunny afternoons on fields. We sketched out plans for all that’s to come, and dug hands in pockets – for it was still chilly – and savoured this moment too.
Links I’ve Loved
- Rebecca’s blog is a long-term favourite of mine, and I really enjoyed reading about how she’s keeping her mental health in check right now.
- Although home ownership seems further away from me than ever before right now, I loved this post by Cindy about her gorgeous new shelves.
- I, of course, love supporting fellow Etsy shop owners. Lily’s shared 10 of her favourite spring finds from Etsy.
- Hate Has No Home Here: Fighting AAPI Racism in America via The Everygirl
- As the end of lockdown restrictions in England draw closer, here are 10 of the best book lovers’ spots to visit in nearby Edinburgh.
- It’s The Hope That Hurts via Simple & Season
Posts This Week
- In a Thousand Small Ways
- Stop Asian Hate is More Than a Hashtag for Me, It’s a Movement – Let’s Move
- Open-hearted joys 開開心心 04
How was your week? Don’t forget to take some time for yourself before next week hits!